Episode 5
Josh Paurini: Unlocking the Power Within
In this episode, I sit down again with Josh Paurini. We engage in a profound exploration of the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, particularly focusing on his concept of the "Thinker" versus the "Watcher." The discussion highlights the significance of self-awareness and presence in mitigating psychological stress, emphasizing that many human issues arise from the delusion of time, wherein individuals excessively dwell on past grievances or future anxieties. We delve into his creation of a workbook, Awakening For The Scientific Mind, inspired by Tolle’s work, designed to facilitate personal reflection and growth. Furthermore, we consider the implications of these teachings on our daily lives and relationships, advocating for a deeper connection with oneself and others through mindful engagement. Ultimately, we aim to illuminate the path towards a more fulfilling existence by cultivating an awareness that transcends the confines of our egoic minds.
Takeaways:
- The podcast discusses the significance of Eckhart Tolle's teachings, emphasizing the necessity of being present and recognizing the delusion of time.
- We explored the duality of the 'Thinker' and the 'Watcher', highlighting the distinction between impulsive thoughts and the observing self.
- A central theme of our discussion was the importance of emotional awareness in interpersonal relationships and the challenges of communication.
- We examined the concept of 'hay in the barn', illustrating the need for consistent preparation and training to achieve optimal performance in sports.
- The conversation underscored that all human beings experience stress from either past regrets or future anxieties, which can hinder their current well-being.
- Moreover, the episode highlighted the value of self-reflection and personal growth, advocating for a mindful approach to life's challenges.
Transcript
I do have something for you for.
Speaker A:For us to begin.
Speaker B:Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker A:Custom made, custom made.
Speaker A:Original intro for the podcast.
Speaker B:Hell yeah.
Speaker B:Let's do it.
Speaker B:I'm stoked.
Speaker B:Excited.
Speaker A:That's it.
Speaker A:The brand new intro for the podcast.
Speaker A:Ladies and gentlemen, JP is back.
Speaker A:Welcome back, brother.
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker B:Thank you for having me back.
Speaker A:Do we call you an author now or what's happening?
Speaker B:I mean, technically it's a workbook of like how I simplified someone else's work.
Speaker B:So I would hesitate to say author.
Speaker B:Just a passionate fan is probably the way I'd like to.
Speaker B:Like to do that.
Speaker A:So more a thought collector idea projector.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I mean, it was stuff that I would find helpful for myself.
Speaker B:So it was a passion project that I did.
Speaker B:And now that I've done it, it's ticked off the box and ticked off the list and.
Speaker B:Yeah, but it's a lot of fun and awakening.
Speaker A:Awakening for the scientific mind.
Speaker B:Yeah, Awakening for the scientific mind.
Speaker B:So it's based around Eckhart Tolle's work with the Power of Now.
Speaker B:And it's a simple workbook with a little bit of information and.
Speaker B:And you print it out and then you write your answers.
Speaker B:You don't submit it.
Speaker B:It's just a sort of a self reflecting.
Speaker B:Less than 28 pages.
Speaker B:So first page writing, second page writing, half of 28.
Speaker B:14.
Speaker B:14 pages of, of stuff that I've experienced or I've taken his work and, and broken it down into ways that my brain can understand it.
Speaker B:And then I've just been gifting it to people.
Speaker B:Or you can, you can, you can, can buy it.
Speaker A:So for people who don't.
Speaker A:So for people who don't know his sort of teachings or learnings, just explain what sort of his history is and how it sort of has influenced you and, and everything.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So Eckart Tole is a. I guess a.
Speaker B:Well, his story is he was thinking about unaliving himself that he wasn't.
Speaker B:Wasn't worthy.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:When he thought about that saying in his head one night, he realized that there were two parts of him in that statement that he made.
Speaker B:I cannot live with myself.
Speaker B:And when he heard himself say that, he realized that there's two versions of him living inside of him that he calls the Thinker and the Watcher.
Speaker B:And that changed everything for him because he needed to figure out which one he was quick because maybe he wasn't the one that wanted to kill himself.
Speaker B:Sorry, Unalive himself.
Speaker B:You might have to blank that out.
Speaker B:And so he had this epiphany and then he sat with that and he just said that that cleared his mind.
Speaker B:Like in his mind he just sort of portaled somewhere else.
Speaker B:And you have to read the book because I'm paraphrasing here, but to speed things along.
Speaker B:And then he became a spiritual leader.
Speaker B:Teach.
Speaker B:That basically boils down to this.
Speaker B:You, you have to end the delusion of time.
Speaker B:If you have problems, then you, you have, you are trapped by the delusion of time existing.
Speaker B:And that seems super weird, but basically what he's saying is that all stress, or a good chunk of it is from life situations that you probably can't control.
Speaker B:Or.
Speaker B:And so if you can't control it, then it is what it is and everybody has that.
Speaker B:Or it's you creating stories or your egoic mind.
Speaker B:The thinker creating stories about.
Speaker B:The future will be better if I do this action now.
Speaker B:You know, you could, you could argue that a lot of the, you know, top world politics and all of the nasty things that are happening in the world are because the people doing the evil believe that the world, the future will be better for them and their people if they do the evil.
Speaker B:They firmly believe that.
Speaker B:And so that's a delusion of time.
Speaker B:And so where he says it manifests for most human beings that don't have those powers is in the same way, just obviously at a lower level will be, how am I going to pay the bills next week?
Speaker B:But the thing is that's a delusion because next week doesn't exist.
Speaker B:The future doesn't exist.
Speaker B:It's just now we only have the second.
Speaker B:And so when you get to the future, it'll still be now.
Speaker B:And that's what he's saying the delusion is as we tell ourselves story that build up psychological stress.
Speaker B:We tell ourselves these things like, if I had a partner, if I had a million dollars, the future would be brighter.
Speaker B:And that's adding stress to your brain that can't.
Speaker B:And your, and your essence and your truth that can't deal with that because it's not now.
Speaker B:We can only deal with now.
Speaker B:You know, like if a pipe burst in my house, I could deal with it now.
Speaker B:If I think about a pipe bursting in my house two days from now, that's gonna cause me the same stress that if it actually happened, but it hasn't happened yet, so it might happen.
Speaker B:Like, of course that's not what he's saying.
Speaker B:But he's saying the stress lies in either going too far into the future or too far into the past and ruminating on them, you can go into the future and type into your calendar, I'm gonna go and get a plumber and check the pipes in two days.
Speaker B:That's a good use of your time and that's the difference.
Speaker B:And you can go into your past and go, oh, I messed up that relationship, I need to be better and more mature in this way specifically.
Speaker B:And I'll try and do that.
Speaker B:That's a good use of the past.
Speaker B:But those are the only times he recommends that you step into them.
Speaker B:And he recommends that a hundred percent of all human beings problems are because they don't end the delusion of time.
Speaker B:And it's hard, man, it's hard.
Speaker B:So what he recommends that you do is as your thinker and this is what the book talks about, you want to sort of imagine your thinker, the brain that's coming up with all these crazy, stressful ideas about your future that might not even happen as like 5 year old self that has the car keys.
Speaker B:You wouldn't let your 5 year old self drive a car.
Speaker B:So that's your brain on autopilot, on safety mode, trying to create these scenarios to keep you safe, but it's actually causing the problems.
Speaker B:So you have to get into your essence, is what he's saying.
Speaker B:And, and, and just take some time to be present and come back to what can I smell?
Speaker B:What can I see?
Speaker B:What am I grateful for now?
Speaker B:And if you do that, you actually just dissipate all of this mental stress.
Speaker B:And it's a practice, man, I've, I've read, I've read his book over 20 times.
Speaker B:Still haven't got it right.
Speaker B:And that's why I created the Workbook because it's the only book I've ever.
Speaker B:Well, second to some of my textbooks.
Speaker B:But you know, to have to read it that much, I was like, it's so simple, but it's so deep and so complex because I'm trying to solve these problems with the part that you're telling me is the problem.
Speaker B:So that's why I created the Workbook.
Speaker A:I think for a long time of my life I sort of live like that, like not worrying about things that might happen or things that have happened because there's nothing I can do about them.
Speaker A:And people were like, oh, you're pretty chill.
Speaker A:But it was just the way it was.
Speaker A:Without knowing his obviously teachings or anything like that.
Speaker A:I want to get down to.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker A:Difference between the thinker and the watcher and explain that to everyone.
Speaker A:There's just one thing that just popped up just then and.
Speaker A:Yeah, the whole unaliving himself.
Speaker A:At what time in our community did we get to a point where we can't say that he.
Speaker A:Because I'll say act like he wanted to kill himself because that's what he says.
Speaker A:That's what he said.
Speaker B:Yeah, sorry, social media, where you can't say that word.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm just wondering, like, it's just weird.
Speaker A:Like there's a lot that you.
Speaker A:I don't know technically or socially can't say anymore.
Speaker A:And that's one of them.
Speaker A:And the first time I heard it I was like, what?
Speaker A:And I was, was when I was in policing, I was like, what do you like, Is that something different to him killing him or him killing himself?
Speaker A:Is it because people are too sensitive these days?
Speaker A:Or is there something deeper than.
Speaker A:Is there something deeper that I'm missing?
Speaker B:No, no, I've, I mean, how much time we got?
Speaker B:So, so if I make it fast, I, I think what happened was the generation before us.
Speaker B:In our opinions had it right.
Speaker B:They, they were hard nose.
Speaker B:Our parents, our grandparents, they worked hard, they didn't take any crap.
Speaker B:They called a spade a spade.
Speaker B:Now what I think is, is happened as, as that meant that they weren't.
Speaker B:Is often involved with their feelings.
Speaker B:And I think that was the, the only drawback of, of, of being that, that hard.
Speaker B:And especially where we're from in Aotearoa, you know, that, that, that tough guy, boys don't cry thing.
Speaker B:And, and so the one issue with that, that generation, and maybe even a part of our generation too, you know, that those years was that it left no room for feelings and it left no room.
Speaker B:And that's like one thing.
Speaker B:And so you're thinking, oh, that's not that bad.
Speaker B:But that in my mind has created all of this and this is good.
Speaker B:So I would call that a massive rupture and a massive.
Speaker B:And now I think we're seeing what repair looks like and I think soon we will get to a medium.
Speaker B:I think that maybe say 10, 15 years ago it was too far.
Speaker B:Can't say this, can't say that, gotta be careful, get cancelled.
Speaker B:Maybe even up to five years ago.
Speaker B:But now I think it's riding itself again.
Speaker B:And I think it's just the way cultures go is they whatever their grandparents taught them will eventually come back around and what was in fashion and what's the best way to train and all the.
Speaker B:What's the best thing to eat?
Speaker B:And all of these things I think will go and will find the one issue I just think we're in the sweet spot where the issue is probably the most important thing on the planet, which is understanding that you have emotions and also understanding that they are going to cause thoughts from the thinker that you don't have to let that five year old drive.
Speaker B:And that's how I'd wrap that up, in a bow.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:So just explain to me the aspects of both the thinker and the watcher.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'll try.
Speaker B:I mean, I guess.
Speaker A:As good as you can.
Speaker B:Yeah, as good as I can, I think.
Speaker B:One thing to note that's really important is words are problematic.
Speaker B:Words are just labels.
Speaker B:So I have to start with this first.
Speaker B:So when we say something like suicide, kill himself, unalive, they're just labels.
Speaker B:Use whatever one you need to, to get the job done.
Speaker B:But sometimes that won't be the same as the person that you talk to.
Speaker B:It's like if I'm talking Indonesian and I say I want dua means I want two, but you don't know that.
Speaker B:So I have to change it to a language that you know, to a label that you know, otherwise a communication can't occur.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so I think that's really important to start is I never mind.
Speaker B:And, and this was a big part of Eckhart's teaching.
Speaker B:He doesn't mind what word that you use because all words are just signposts.
Speaker B:They're problematic.
Speaker B:So we have to get that out of the way first.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Because otherwise all of the stuff sounds like, I don't know, I'm something that you're thinking or a guest is thinking or someone watching the pod is thinking.
Speaker B:He's a.
Speaker B:And label me.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Where we sort of want to elevate ourselves above that.
Speaker B:And an example I'll give you, which is really important and we'll get through it quickly, is honey.
Speaker B:So we've all had honey on toast.
Speaker B:If you meet someone that hasn't had honey on toast, can you explain to them that feeling by the word honey?
Speaker A:No, no, no.
Speaker B:Now, once you've had honey, do you need the word?
Speaker B:Does it go anywhere near describing how amazing that taste is?
Speaker B:If you're, if you're a honey lover, you could switch it up.
Speaker A:You're asking me if the word changes.
Speaker B:The feeling or is it just a signpost?
Speaker B:And it's not until you experience what the word's getting at, the essence of it, that it actually makes sense for you.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Now that's problematic in two ways, which is the last part.
Speaker B:If you switch that word with Bloody anything, Right?
Speaker B:Gym work.
Speaker B:If you hate the word gym, because gym work because it sounds like work and sounds bad, you're not going to experience the results.
Speaker B:You're not going to be bulletproof at 40 with your tenons and ligaments bouncing back from every injury, bouncing out of bed in the morning and still playing sport because the words scared you, right?
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So words and signposts can be like danger.
Speaker B:I don't want to go there.
Speaker B:But that's going to stop you from growing as a human being, which I think is what we all should be trying to do is grow as human beings and learn lessons.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And this comes back into my projector human design that I was talking about before.
Speaker B:If people come and watch this, then this is my message, but I'm not going to force it.
Speaker B:I'm not sending it into your email, right?
Speaker B:You come find me and this is the stuff that you'll get.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:So words are just signposts.
Speaker B:If you don't like the word honey, use something else.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:If you don't like the word gym work, use something else.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:But if you have that goal, then you're going to have to run into whatever that thing is.
Speaker B:And I think that probably the prime example that Eckhart uses, which I don't use as much as the same thing as God.
Speaker B:So if you say the word God to somebody, some people will go, not me.
Speaker B:Because you're imagining a man that sits in the sky that throws thunderbolts at it, potentially throws thunderbolts and makes bad things happen in this country and makes bad people have money and all of that stuff.
Speaker B:That's you looking at that word and associating something that I don't associate with it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I don't think that there's an actual person in the sky and there never has been.
Speaker B:And you're never going to get me into a church or reading a Bible.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, again, you're just not.
Speaker B:Because my.
Speaker B:What I think is that signpost is completely different.
Speaker B:And that's the beautiful thing about being a human being is, is once you figure out somebody's signpost, you can either get on the same page or you can say, oh, let's not talk about that anymore.
Speaker B:So does that make sense?
Speaker B:Words are just signposts, right?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And me being bad with my communication in my previous years, that's.
Speaker B:That's really hurt me.
Speaker B:So back to the thinker and the watcher.
Speaker B:The thinker and the watcher are just terms for what Eka called the I And the myself.
Speaker B:So I am tired of I. I am going to kill myself.
Speaker B:There's two things there, and if you understand that, just call one, the thinker and one, the watcher.
Speaker B:The thinker is the impulsive.
Speaker B:Keep you safe.
Speaker B:I touch my hand on a hot stove, pull it off.
Speaker B:Anything that happens instantly, that is as any signal to my brain an emotion, a feeling, gut instinct.
Speaker B:That's usually the thinker.
Speaker B:If it's negative, it will be from the thinker.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:That's a.
Speaker B:That's a really good mechanism.
Speaker B:He's playing cards, and every time he has a good, good hand, he opens an Oreo.
Speaker B:You know, the moving around, right?
Speaker B:If it's negative, it's from your thinker, okay?
Speaker B:It cannot be from your watcher, okay?
Speaker B:Your watcher is the part of you that analyzes the thinker.
Speaker B:So if you ever think about, oh, I'm driving in a car and there's a cliff and what if I just drove off, that everyone's had that thought, that intrusive thought, right?
Speaker B:The person that the, the you that caught you having that thought is your watcher.
Speaker B:They're the silent hunter.
Speaker B:They don't move, they just watch.
Speaker B:And what happens is we, we would watch ourselves do that.
Speaker B:And then the thinker would come back on and go, oh, I'm a bad person.
Speaker B:And there's the negativity again.
Speaker B:So it bounces back really quickly.
Speaker B:And most human beings, I would say, you know, a good 90% of the planet spend 100 to 99% of their time in their thinker.
Speaker B:And that's why there's so much negativity.
Speaker B:And, and they'd only ever catch themselves if that thing was really wild.
Speaker B:You know, throw that knife at the wall and see if it goes into the wall for, you know, like that, those intrusive thoughts.
Speaker B:You're like, what the hell was that?
Speaker B:That's your watcher, right?
Speaker B:When you are.
Speaker B:Present in peace and in joy and in pure love and you're enjoying the moment, the present, that's where the watcher lives.
Speaker B:If you think about the future, you think about the past, you can only do that with the thinker.
Speaker B:So, so that's, that's the, the part that's super important, is that the, the I, the identity is your egoic mind, which is your thinker, which really thinks.
Speaker B:It does an amazing job all of the time, but it's, it's like the.
Speaker B:It does a good job most of the time, keeps us safe.
Speaker B:We walk into a room and we see some bad elements that that, that thing is great for that.
Speaker B:So we've gotta be grateful that we have this system that's so well tuned that it can pick out danger.
Speaker B:But the problem with that is it creates danger for things that don't exist yet because it's like, oh, let me run it.
Speaker B:What if we aren't prepared for that pipe to burst two days from now?
Speaker B:Call a plumber.
Speaker B:And now I've got another task on my growing task list and that adds up.
Speaker B:And then I yell at my partner, you know, or I, or I yell at the dog, you know, so should.
Speaker A:People be more in touch with the watcher?
Speaker A:Not, not a, not to unbalance the scale or anything, but should they be.
Speaker A:Are people less in touch with the watcher than the thinker?
Speaker B:Oh, ab.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Some people have never met.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I think it's.
Speaker B:I think it's almost 100% of the planet.
Speaker B:100%, you know, 99 in their egoic minds at all times.
Speaker B:And you'll get, if you listen to some.
Speaker B:People talk, that Peter Crone is a great one.
Speaker B:That's somebody that's aware of their watcher.
Speaker B:I don't know if you, if you follow him on Instagram or send him, send him to.
Speaker A:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker B:Just, just absolutely embodying exactly what Eckart was.
Speaker B:Was talking about and what he was, what he was on about, you know, and, and so people will say things like, you've let me down.
Speaker B:I thought you were my friend.
Speaker B:Like, that's egoic mind stuff.
Speaker B:No one can let you down.
Speaker B:You made me feel bad.
Speaker B:That's egoic mind stuff.
Speaker B:You control your feelings.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:The initial feeling could be one of bad, but then you're choosing to build an identity around that story.
Speaker B:So it's your fault.
Speaker B:That's all really we have control of is what's inside here.
Speaker B:And you can either let it run you left or you run your.
Speaker B:And I like to say run you under the bed and hide or step into the bloody arena and fight.
Speaker B:And you can only do those things if you're on watch otherwise.
Speaker B:And a lot of human beings, if they've never played professional sport or competitive sport, because in competitive sport, if you're having fun, if you're in the moment, if you're in flow state, that is also the watcher, because you're not thinking about bad things in the future or bad things in the past.
Speaker B:So we all have that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm glad you brought up the egoic mind because it sort of ties back to what I was saying before.
Speaker A:How We've come to a point where we can't say certain things because it might offend someone else.
Speaker A:Whereas my thought has always been, that's not my.
Speaker A:If I say something and I'm not aware that it's going to offend you, I probably would say, sorry, but I don't see why.
Speaker A:Why I should if it's.
Speaker A:If I'm not trying to be offensive, I guess.
Speaker A:Does that make sense?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:I think right there, we're sort of talking in two groups.
Speaker B:So one lesson that I've learned from that is there's like your side and my side or A and B or left and right.
Speaker B:If you want to get political right, I might say guns are good.
Speaker B:You're going to say guns are bad.
Speaker B:We're on different wavelengths and we're going to.
Speaker B:We're going to butt heads.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That comment that you made, I would say would be, anytime you argue, you're using your egoic mind because you've built an identity that has to be defended.
Speaker B:So technically, while you're not wrong, you're.
Speaker B:You're still in an argumentative state because you're like, you're defending a position that I shouldn't have.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:Don't make me feel bad.
Speaker B:You're your own responsibility.
Speaker B:And while you're technically right, you're fighting in this race of like, you know, some people would say, like, if you vote red or if you vote blue, the government will get better or worse.
Speaker B:I don't care who you vote for.
Speaker B:It's probably going to be the same shit, different, different day.
Speaker B:But what I'm saying is that this is a one and two.
Speaker B:There's a third way, and that's what I want you to try and find.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So a good example for there would be, how would.
Speaker B:How would you elevate yourself and learn?
Speaker B:And you might not get this epiphany until tomorrow.
Speaker B:With me, it comes on after I go for a long ride on the motorbike or something like that.
Speaker B:It's like a day later, two days later, six hours minimum.
Speaker B:Like my.
Speaker B:Some reason, my brain just has to sit on things and.
Speaker B:And I need space to just have it all out and go, but what's the third way?
Speaker B:So how can you think of a solution that doesn't put you in a state where you need an identity so you can't go, I'm out of this conversation, ha ha, and leave them, and I'm better than you and have that attitude.
Speaker B:That's still this.
Speaker B:So there'll be A solution for you in that problem that you just had.
Speaker B:I don't want to offend somebody.
Speaker B:I probably did.
Speaker B:I'm super sorry.
Speaker B:If they talk to me, they'd know that I didn't mean to do it.
Speaker B:That's still.
Speaker B:They're going to be like, no, you've got to know better, man.
Speaker B: got to be, you know, this is: Speaker B:You know, that's how they would be.
Speaker B:And you would be in an argument the third way.
Speaker B:How do you elevate yourself?
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And maybe they come, maybe they don't.
Speaker B:Maybe they stay in the finger for the rest of their lives, maybe they don't.
Speaker B:It is what it is.
Speaker B:And that because some people is a depressing thing, and some people, that's a.
Speaker B:That's a positive.
Speaker B:And for me, I'm on the side of positive.
Speaker B:I think the more times that you share, some of the guests that you've had have been unbelievable, right?
Speaker B:And so the people that watch that needed that.
Speaker B:They needed those lessons, they needed those stories to relate.
Speaker B:Like, if you hadn't done it, you wouldn't have leveled these people up into.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Actually, I never thought about it that way.
Speaker B:The third way, and it's without.
Speaker B:Without argument.
Speaker B:And one of the key things is when you're in your watcher, you actually don't have arguments.
Speaker B:If you have an argument you've lost because you're having an identity.
Speaker B:Rocky wants to be right about this scenario because it's a part of who he is.
Speaker B:Does that make sense?
Speaker A:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker A:I think.
Speaker A:Well, the whole part of this podcast, the foundation of it was to learn.
Speaker A:But I guess it's also.
Speaker A:Recently as I've gotten older in life.
Speaker A:I understand how important conversation and opening up that line of conversation with people, no matter who they are, no matter if you agree with what they're saying or not, that conversation, I think, well, just having a conversation can build that bridge.
Speaker A:You're not going to fix everything.
Speaker A:But I think conversation is the way to start us understanding each other a bit more.
Speaker A:And I guess I've learned that recently, especially with talking to people on the podcast and about the podcast and getting talking to people just outside.
Speaker A:In real world.
Speaker A:I've tried to reach out to people that I don't necessarily agree with all the time.
Speaker A:Because I want to learn and I want to see their side.
Speaker A:And I've been listening to things that I probably wouldn't have been listening to before, and I still don't agree with it, but I feel like that, yeah, conversation and listening is part of building that bridge to.
Speaker A:Start getting closer as a community.
Speaker B:Now, I think you're.
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:I agree, but I think you're understating it.
Speaker B:I think.
Speaker B:I think the part that you're forgetting about how, like, yes, you've got to do this.
Speaker B:You've got to take the first step, but this stuff might be helping my neighbor's great, great grandkid when they watch YouTube 160 years from now, right?
Speaker B:Like, we.
Speaker B:We could have a.
Speaker B:Have a.
Speaker B:Have a monumental impact that.
Speaker B:That outlasts our.
Speaker B:Our grandkids because they're going to watch us on YouTube.
Speaker B:And I think that's.
Speaker B:That's if more people thought about it like that, more people would create content, more people would start more conversations.
Speaker B:Because you're right.
Speaker B:You're right that this is so necessary.
Speaker B:And, And I think because it's.
Speaker B:I have an identity of.
Speaker B:I don't want to be embarrassed.
Speaker B:I don't want people to judge me a certain way.
Speaker B:We avoid having these.
Speaker B:And that's the egoic mind, right?
Speaker B:Like, I try to start and do a podcast maybe five times.
Speaker B:I got episode one out three times.
Speaker B:But every time that you ring me, I'm like, that's the hard thing.
Speaker B:So as soon as my ego.
Speaker B:Egot mind says that, my watch goes, caught your buddy.
Speaker B:We're doing that damn podcast and we're going to prep and we're going to be on time and we're going to have a coffee and we're going to walk the dog and all these things, you know, and then still be half an hour late, you know.
Speaker B:Hey, Bali time, mate.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:But that's it.
Speaker A:Like podcasts, music.
Speaker A:Any content that people are releasing is a time capsule.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:I think it's important that we put stuff out there, obviously, like, stuff out there having fun, because that's a key part of life.
Speaker A:But also opening up these conversations and learning things from people that think differently than we normally do.
Speaker A:Because most people just.
Speaker A:And I don't mind, they just get on with life and that's.
Speaker A:That's their life.
Speaker A:But I think if we open up and start learning how other people think it might start, then I'll start to something else.
Speaker A:So we're saying that you brought up human design.
Speaker A:Tell me about that and explain.
Speaker A:Explain.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So probably, yeah, this is something I'm not very well versed in, but I.
Speaker A:Because we'll figure it out.
Speaker B:Once I find out, like, what I am, I sort of tick the box and move on to the next thing, which is A part of my human design is it's all of us.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:So basically, human design, late 80s, can't remember the person that designed it, but basically they said there's five groups.
Speaker B:So you're a generator, a manifester, a manifesting generator, a reflector or a projector.
Speaker B:And basically that's a small snippet of how you go, how you go about your life.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Manifesters are about 10 of the population.
Speaker B:And they inform people before they act, which leads to peace.
Speaker B:So they'll say things like, oh, I'm just gonna do this, Is that okay?
Speaker B:And then their boss will be like, yeah, sure.
Speaker B:That's who they are in the workplace, that's who they are in relationships.
Speaker B:And you might be that right, 10% of the world, or give or take generators.
Speaker B:And manifesting generators are like 70% of the world.
Speaker B:So most of us will know this.
Speaker B:They, they, they wait till they get an opportunity that leads them to the highest satisfaction, and then they would do that opportunity.
Speaker B:And all of these are positive.
Speaker B:So remember the words, you know, it's just something I'm, you know, trying to get out.
Speaker B:Reflectors are the rarest type.
Speaker B:There's only 1%.
Speaker B:And they wait, and sometimes they wait for a whole month.
Speaker B:I think it's to do with lunar cycle before they make a major decision, which sometimes will lead them to, to be surprised.
Speaker B:They mirror energy.
Speaker B:So if somebody is up partying and they're not a party person, they go and go to a party with them.
Speaker B:They'll, they'll, their energy will meet that, that person if that person is depressed and they'll, they'll meet that depers that person.
Speaker B:You might know one or two people that are the rarest.
Speaker B:And then I'm a projector, which basically means I have to wait or I'm supposed to wait.
Speaker B:For an invitation before I share my wisdom, which will lead to success.
Speaker B:And so my whole thing is I have been in the past trying to push what I know, my wisdom down people's throats when I have conversations with them.
Speaker B:Hey, how was your day?
Speaker B:I explain how they should rehab their back, what they should be eating.
Speaker B:Well, I used to.
Speaker B:And so that didn't go down well.
Speaker B:And so my relationships with that person, they'd be like, oh, that doesn't feel right because it wasn't aligned with my truth.
Speaker B:So my truth is I have wisdom that I've sponged from all of the places that I've got because that's what's important to me.
Speaker B:And if somebody wants to Share in that wisdom, then come to me, ask me the question, and I'll share what I know.
Speaker B:And that's how about 20 of the planet are projectors, and that's how they operate.
Speaker A:Are those.
Speaker A:I know you don't.
Speaker A:You know, you haven't dug deep into it.
Speaker A:But are all those interchangeable or.
Speaker B:No?
Speaker B:No, Everyone.
Speaker A:Just one of those things.
Speaker B:Everyone's one.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Some of them have, like, cross pollination.
Speaker B:So the generators are the manifesters.
Speaker B:You can be a manifesting generator, but that's what, 20.
Speaker B:That's about 80.
Speaker B:80% of the world of those three.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So most people will be in those.
Speaker B:Most people will be in that.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:They want a peace.
Speaker B:They want to.
Speaker B:Wait for you to offer them a job.
Speaker B:Nice people.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:Like, most.
Speaker B:Most human beings are just.
Speaker B:Just nice, normal people.
Speaker B:And that's what those things are.
Speaker B:And they.
Speaker B:They do their best work when they're allowed to be in that.
Speaker B:In that frame of work.
Speaker B:And, man, what.
Speaker B:I think I learned this.
Speaker B:My partner at our old job in Owakura taught me this.
Speaker B:And you can go into it very, very deep.
Speaker B:But, man, it's.
Speaker B:It hit the nail on the head and helped me focus, like, when I'm doing my energy.
Speaker B:So for this, like, okay, what do I need to book in, what I need to block out?
Speaker B:And I wasn't doing enough.
Speaker B:I was saying yes to everything.
Speaker B:And it was meaning that people were getting less of my energy at times when I needed to give my most energy.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah, and.
Speaker B:And it sort of helps you.
Speaker B:You could probably look at that and go, I'm that one.
Speaker B:Like, out of all of those, what one do you think you would be?
Speaker A:Well, that's what I was asking if they went.
Speaker A:That's why I was asking if they were interchangeable, because when you were rattling them off, I was like, oh, yep.
Speaker A:And then you.
Speaker A:The next one about.
Speaker A:Well, yep.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker B:You can take a test.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I guess I'd have to dig deeper into what that's about and be in touch with who.
Speaker A:Like, get deep down to see who I really am.
Speaker A:Cause it's easy for me to sit here and go, yeah, that's me.
Speaker A:No, that's me.
Speaker A:But really, that's how I see myself.
Speaker A:But people I've learned over the years have seen me a lot differently than I see myself.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And one of the things that I just noticed is that you're saying how I. I see myself.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, Yep.
Speaker A:We did this last time.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:You know, and.
Speaker B:And so That's.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:But that's the part that you want to watch out for, is you.
Speaker B:You are like your essence.
Speaker B:And some people will say it's God essence, some people will say it's spirit, some people will say it's soul, some people will say it's energy.
Speaker B:There's so many more splenic.
Speaker B:Can't remember the name of that.
Speaker B:Where your chakra is, that.
Speaker B:That is you.
Speaker B:And that's what people know as you.
Speaker B:They don't know that you.
Speaker B:When you were driving your car, you thought about turning off the road, because that's not you.
Speaker B:So you don't actually have to be something because you are something.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Like, if you.
Speaker B:If you pass away right now, and I went to tell.
Speaker B:And you and.
Speaker B:And your mom and your family, let me speak at your funeral, the words I would say, my friend, like the words I would say, because I know this.
Speaker B:I don't need to know if you like pizza without pineapple or all those things, but we fall into that trap of.
Speaker B:Or maybe that's me.
Speaker B:Maybe that's.
Speaker B:Maybe.
Speaker B:And sometimes those labels are helpful.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:For this one, it was right.
Speaker B:But nobody's going to stand up at my funeral and go, oh, he was a projector, but 10% of the time he sort of went into a reflection.
Speaker B:No one's going to say that, right?
Speaker B:They're going to say, you know, he loved his daughters and he.
Speaker B:And he did everything he could to inspire them in all of the ways that he stepped into the arena.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:That's who we are.
Speaker B:And that's the hunter, that's the watcher.
Speaker B:Be that as many times you can throughout your day.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:FYI, just in case something does happen to me, pineapple and pizza can take a hike.
Speaker B:All right, Matt, we're like this.
Speaker A:I don't understand it.
Speaker B:It's fucking delicious.
Speaker B:Wait, can you swear on this podcast.
Speaker A:My goodness, mate, the last guy, Nathan.
Speaker A:I don't know if you listen to Nathan.
Speaker B:I haven't had a chance to listen to that one yet.
Speaker A:Yeah, no, he was.
Speaker A:He was throwing out the C word a few times.
Speaker B:My mum would kill me if I said that.
Speaker B:That is off the table, dude.
Speaker B:I would get to.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker A:But, yeah, no, that.
Speaker A:That last.
Speaker A:The last one especially.
Speaker A:Because it was the fourth one, I think.
Speaker A:Just getting into.
Speaker A:Getting into it.
Speaker A:And I'm glad it's sort of as hard as it was to begin with.
Speaker A:All the stuff ups.
Speaker A:Like the first one we had where I dropped out and you dropped out and it Was all sort of mangled up.
Speaker A:And then when Stefan came on, it was.
Speaker A:The second half of the.
Speaker A:Stefan was amazing.
Speaker A:Like, we.
Speaker A:Like what we spoke about was, like, really good.
Speaker A:But when I listened back to it, he's dropped out and it's just me talking to myself.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I'm glad.
Speaker A:Sort of all that sort of happened.
Speaker A:And then with Keith Banks, the undercover cop.
Speaker A:I'm glad.
Speaker A:Not glad, because it was a great opportunity, but it felt more like an interview.
Speaker A:And then when Nathan came on, I was slowly starting to get the hang of this thing.
Speaker A:And I guess once we got into it, it started feeling more like two people just having a conversation rather than an interview with me interviewing him.
Speaker A:So I've learned a lot from.
Speaker B:All.
Speaker A:Of this, and I'm slowly, slowly getting in to the swing of things and figuring out all the, like, the little misfires and so forth.
Speaker A:But, yeah, the Nathan Wallace, the last episode.
Speaker A:Especially if you got young kids.
Speaker A:And babies and it was just really getting that parental.
Speaker A:They probably shouldn't have listened to it, but it's good for you.
Speaker A:Good for the parents to understand sort of the.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The child's brain and how it sort of works and how to sort of optimize it for future success.
Speaker A:Obviously, there's other variables that change people's lives, but yeah, it was definitely.
Speaker B:I mean, the good thing with.
Speaker B:With.
Speaker B:If he's using the C word, is he Australian?
Speaker A:No, he's from New Zealand.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker A:He was great.
Speaker A:Yeah, no, he was great.
Speaker A:And it made me feel more at ease, I guess, once he started slanging those words.
Speaker A:And he was great.
Speaker A:And I'd have him on a heartbeat again, because.
Speaker A:People.
Speaker A:Things like that everyday life that people don't really think about, about their children and stuff, and how.
Speaker A:I guess it was sort of like, we talk about me and you about connection with people and that communication and speaking to your children in a certain way and making that connection that a lot of people just don't.
Speaker A:Well, some people don't have that connection with the child.
Speaker A:Just slap a nappy on without actually telling them, communicating with them what's going on and how you're going to do it.
Speaker A:And the way he said it was, if your elderly grandmother needed a hand with something, you would explain it to her while you were doing it.
Speaker A:So she wasn't just being thrown around where you're saying, a lot of people don't do that with children, with babies changing their nappies.
Speaker A:And then part of that connection is explaining things to them and communicating.
Speaker A:You brought up Being wrong.
Speaker A:Before the podcast and that some things that you've learned along the way.
Speaker A:You'Ve realized have been wrong.
Speaker A:Is that right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Where do we start?
Speaker B:I mean, I think that that's a good representation of being from the Watcher, is being okay with being wrong and not like, locking something into your identity and saying that the way I do things is the right way.
Speaker B:We're humans, and it's the first time that we are on this planet.
Speaker B:I remember when our daughters were three and two.
Speaker B:Give them a smack on the bum if they were being naughty, right?
Speaker B:And it wasn't until they were four or five that just ran late to us.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's wrong.
Speaker B:And so, you know, you've got to realize that it is your first time on this planet, that parenting is the hardest job in the world, especially single parent, which, unfortunately, that's the consequence of me having to be in Bali and splitting from my ex, is that she's had to shoulder, double, triple the load, right?
Speaker B:And it's, It's.
Speaker B:It is what it is.
Speaker B:But I.
Speaker B:But it's honored.
Speaker B:Like, it's really important that.
Speaker B:That when people say it is what it is, that they honor the thing that's existing.
Speaker B:And I think that's the third way.
Speaker B:There's a lot of detachment, right?
Speaker B:Like someone comes on and brings up a study, and if it doesn't, it doesn't sit with what you believe.
Speaker B:Like the one I was talking about in the gym.
Speaker B:You just, oh, nah, I'll just carry on.
Speaker B:And I won't, I won't read that.
Speaker B:Whereas you've gotta be the third way, which is, how do I apply that?
Speaker B:And I think that's the thing that probably be my recommendation for, like, I got.
Speaker B:I would say my big mistake is when we're doing this stuff, I turn it into an interview because I'm a projector.
Speaker B:So my brain goes, Rocky's just there, but basically he wants you to talk nonstop for three hours.
Speaker B:And I rattle stuff off.
Speaker B:And that's just who I am.
Speaker B:So if you need to tell me to shut up or put, you know, just go.
Speaker B:Just be like.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:Because.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:So being.
Speaker B:Being wrong is a part of being mature and realizing that you're wrong.
Speaker B:And, um, it's funny because what I've learned now.
Speaker B:Through growing in a space with my new partner, we've been together for six years.
Speaker B:She's amazing.
Speaker B:But if I'd known what I know now after being with her for six years, I never would have Ended the marriage.
Speaker B:How odd's that?
Speaker A:But then you wouldn't be where you are and you wouldn't have went.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, but that's, that's an interesting, like, thing to come to, right?
Speaker B:Is like, at that time, it was right for me, is what it is.
Speaker B:And it sent me on this path of, of, of growth and maturity that I needed to maybe one day somebody else's kid sees this and, and learns a lesson, right?
Speaker B:And that's all I can, All I can do is show up for, for, you know, the kids that are coaching Bali, right?
Speaker B:Like, I have to put that energy somewhere and I have to pour it into her and I have to pour it into me, right?
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And then what?
Speaker B:One day when my girls are old enough, they can fly back and forward and, and, you know, spend winters, summers in Christchurch and winters in Bala or something like that.
Speaker B:And that's the plan.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker B:That sort of shakes a lot of people because they have an identity and their identity doesn't want to be wrong.
Speaker B:And I had an identity of a, of a top personal trainer and a top coach.
Speaker B:And some of the studies that are coming out now are showing that things like Pilates, yoga, calisthenics can actually grow muscle because they are putting them in lengthened stretch positions such as a lunge.
Speaker B:So stressful stretch positions will actually grow the sarcomeres, which is the little fibers.
Speaker B:So they just get.
Speaker B:They go from a size of a pencil to a size of a pen, and then so your muscles will grow bigger.
Speaker B:That's actually the mechanism.
Speaker B:And for so many years, we didn't know what it was.
Speaker B:But I think that sort of speaks volumes, is like, I'm like, damn.
Speaker B:I haven't been focused on that part.
Speaker B:You know, I've been focused on what the literature that I read up until this point was saying.
Speaker B:And so technically, I've been given out.
Speaker B:Not, not wrong, just not the full story.
Speaker B:So now I have to make sure that my clients are doing stretched whole isometrics at all of the end of their program.
Speaker B:So when you know better, you do better, right?
Speaker B:And that, unfortunately, sometimes that comes after the lesson.
Speaker B:But I think that's how the universe works.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's a.
Speaker B:It's a rupture and repair system, and some people rupture and stay ruptured, and that's when, when the negative stuff happens.
Speaker B:But I think if you.
Speaker B:So now I'm sort of okay with the ruptures occurring.
Speaker B:I'm okay with conflict.
Speaker B:I'm okay with.
Speaker B:You know, if we disagree on something, me and my partner, and then we don't speak to each other for a couple hours.
Speaker B:I'm okay with those after the fact, not during it.
Speaker B:Like during it, like, because your safety response comes on.
Speaker B:So it's two egoic minds.
Speaker B:That's two identities.
Speaker B:I'm right, you're wrong.
Speaker B:And then three hours later you realize that there's a third way and that you failed because you actually got into an argument.
Speaker B:And that's what I'm learning, is there's a third way for everything, and I have to find that.
Speaker A:Well, I think it's good for people to understand that just because there's a way doesn't mean, I guess what you're saying and what your teaching is doesn't necessarily mean that you're perfect either.
Speaker A:Does that make sense?
Speaker A:Still have those, those moments where you, you, you are still arguing and I.
Speaker B:Guess look at it as a.
Speaker B:As an upward spiral.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So you're going to run into the same lesson, say, at my nose height.
Speaker B:And that's where a rupture will happen.
Speaker B:And if you repair, you'll level up, and then three days later something will happen and you'll have another rupture, but you'll be at a more advanced level.
Speaker B:And so the more ruptures that you have, if we're talking about relationship, the more ruptures that you have and the more times you repair, the more that you level up and the more that you grow and the more that they grow.
Speaker B:And I think we, we often look at, we don't look at life like an upward spiral of, of skill, of an upward spiral of love learning, of an upward spiral of development.
Speaker B:But that's really what it is.
Speaker B:And if you look at it like that, it brings a whole new depth and gives you an advantage and also takes some of the blame away.
Speaker B:So blame and.
Speaker B:Because there's a lot of that and a lot of human beings, including myself, right.
Speaker B:A lot of blame, a lot of shame, a lot of fear.
Speaker B:Fear.
Speaker B:But those aren't me.
Speaker B:So when they pop in, I see you.
Speaker B:It's just a cloud.
Speaker B:Thanks for popping in.
Speaker B:Wave goodbye to it.
Speaker A:How do you heal those ruptures with your partner?
Speaker A:Do you admit that you're wrong?
Speaker B:Think 100% of the time, you are wrong.
Speaker B:Obviously, I think 100% of the time so far, I've actually been wrong.
Speaker B:And I think it's because.
Speaker B:Where I've.
Speaker B:I've been wrong twice, I've been wrong in whatever I was saying here.
Speaker B:And it's very Similar to what you were saying before is if I.
Speaker B:If I say something that might get me canceled, this person's going to do it.
Speaker B:It's the same thing, right?
Speaker B:So I was always.
Speaker B:My identity was saying, I feel this, so I'm valid and I'm right and both of you can be right, but the part that you're wrong about is that you had an argument in the first place.
Speaker B:And that's why I'm always wrong.
Speaker B:And that's my.
Speaker B:My guide for me as a man now is to.
Speaker B:Is to see the third way to wave goodbye at that emotion when it comes in.
Speaker B:Because I get set off really easily because it's those.
Speaker B:Those triggers sit there forever.
Speaker B:And if some.
Speaker B:If she triggers something, then, you know, I was bullied.
Speaker B:Third form, fourth form, fifth form.
Speaker B:Cool, aloof kid.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Cool is probably the wrong word, but I was feeling like, you know, I'm cool, I'm happy, nothing really bothered me.
Speaker B:Basketball player.
Speaker B:And so, And.
Speaker B:And quiet.
Speaker B:And so I was a short.
Speaker B:I was a target for a lot of people in that third floor until I got my growth spurt and then I wasn't a target.
Speaker B:But those things still, still are present, right?
Speaker B:Especially if, like, she says something, you know, she's tired or me with females is like this, right?
Speaker B:And males, we go higher, but we go lower.
Speaker B:And we.
Speaker B:And so there's gonna be times where it's like a label gets me, you know, and it's just a signpost and it gets me.
Speaker B:And I, like, immediately my brain goes, she's trying to break who we are as a person.
Speaker B:And then fear, shame, or.
Speaker B:Or blame come in.
Speaker B:And then I'll say something stupid.
Speaker B:Rupture.
Speaker B:Then she'll say something stupid.
Speaker B:Then I'll say something stupid.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And my triggers become who I am and my watcher has just left the building.
Speaker B:And then that will happen until it stops.
Speaker B:Until she walks away or until I walk away.
Speaker B:And then we'll get.
Speaker B:We'll get back together in a.
Speaker B:Like, like come together in a day later, and we'll talk about it.
Speaker B:And she'll explain where I failed for her boundaries.
Speaker B:And often times, because I'm on this journey, she doesn't fail any of my boundaries.
Speaker B:It was me that said something nasty while I was in my egoic mind because I have to win.
Speaker B:I'm competitive.
Speaker B:I have that mamba mentality.
Speaker B:Everywhere and anywhere, right?
Speaker B:It's a switch.
Speaker B:It just goes on.
Speaker B:I'm just an animal.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And, you know, if my friend's trying to insult me.
Speaker B:I. I'm always going to insult you harder and I will never stop because the little boy in me needs to win.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:But the being competitive.
Speaker A:I was in a dog behavioral course two days ago, which I thought, oh, this will be good.
Speaker A:You know, learn.
Speaker A:Learn a bit about dogs.
Speaker A:Soon as she said, whatever table you're sitting on, that's your team and I'm handing out points.
Speaker A:I rallied my team around me and we were, we were going for gold.
Speaker A:There was no stopping us.
Speaker A:We're ruthless.
Speaker A:We came last.
Speaker A:But I just admired how competitive we were.
Speaker A:Just yelling at the other teams and she was like, what is happening?
Speaker A:And I'm like, this is us, mate.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:We're going in for the kill.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:You just reminded me of when I was in sponsored college.
Speaker B:We had to.
Speaker B:For an English class, we had to create an advertisement.
Speaker B:And I realized that when we got into a group and I said, this is the plan.
Speaker B:We're going to do a basketball advert for underarm deodorant.
Speaker B:I created the entire plan.
Speaker B:Six of the smartest minds around me, I created the entire plan, the entire script.
Speaker B:I was the actor, I directed it, I edited it and submitted it for a group project.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Nothing as a kid has that carried on with you needing.
Speaker A:Do you think it was a need to be in control so you can sort of determine the outcome, or is it something more like you just love doing it?
Speaker B:I think it was a projector thing and I should have waited for somebody to ask my wisdom, but I had all these ideas and I just spat them out.
Speaker B:And once I sort of gave myself permission to share my wisdom.
Speaker B:And that's the opposite of what we're supposed to do to be aligned.
Speaker B:We're supposed to wait.
Speaker B:So, yeah, gotta be a bit more.
Speaker B:A bit more patient.
Speaker A:How old were you then?
Speaker B:13.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Ain't nobody telling you nothing at 13.
Speaker B:Nah, not me, anyway.
Speaker A:Not.
Speaker B:Anyway, I got six points in basketball on Friday night.
Speaker B:You can't tell me nothing.
Speaker A:Just walking around with swag.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I used to.
Speaker B:I used to walk around and get bullied for my walk because I'd.
Speaker B:I'd like push off my.
Speaker B:My calves.
Speaker B:So I would walk around like this, not knowing that I was doing that, but it pissed off the entire school.
Speaker B:All my friends are like, who's this?
Speaker B:And I'm just like.
Speaker B:I thought I was walking normally.
Speaker B:Like, I promise you, I thought that's how someone supposed to walk.
Speaker B:You'd use your foot, but apparently not.
Speaker B:So everyone else is walking normally.
Speaker B:Their heads are like this, and my head's, like, doing this the entire time, and I just didn't click.
Speaker A:And then people just stand that issue with you.
Speaker A:Because I see people walk like that and it just pisses me off.
Speaker A:I'm like, what?
Speaker B:I've never seen it.
Speaker B:I've never seen it.
Speaker B:To this day, I still don't think I was doing it.
Speaker A:A while back, we were talking and you said that you don't watch basketball.
Speaker A:In your words, you said you're a hater.
Speaker A:Is that still the case, or are you watching some basketball now or.
Speaker B:I'm not a hater.
Speaker B:I'm a lover of it.
Speaker B:No, no, I mean, like, I'm a lover of it so much that I want to play.
Speaker B:Yeah, that.
Speaker B:That I'm so passionate about it that it hurts me to not have the ball in my hands.
Speaker B:Even though I wasn't the best player, I still, like, I don't have to shoot it, but I want to, like, orchestrate it.
Speaker B:You come here, screen this.
Speaker B:I'll come off there.
Speaker B:If you're open, I'm going to pass it to you.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, I remember making this thing haunts me.
Speaker B:I remember a coach once telling me, on defense, if you want to move as.
Speaker B:As a point guard, if you want to move your players around to get a better defensive set, you could do that.
Speaker B:And it was the first time I've ever heard of it.
Speaker B:But I was like, in my.
Speaker B:In my era, I'm going to be confident.
Speaker B:I want to try and be a point guard.
Speaker B:Because I was always told I wasn't a point guard all my life.
Speaker B:And I 1 ever actually told me exactly what I needed to do because my brain works differently.
Speaker B:They just assumed because I was a Hooper that I would figure it out.
Speaker B:So I'm like, if you imagine like five players on the court like chess, I would, like, see what they were bringing down and see their tall guy was on the left.
Speaker B:So I would grab our tall guy and go, hey, Link, go.
Speaker B:Go to the left.
Speaker B:And I'd switch him during the game for about three months in the off season, we would.
Speaker B:We're practice, scrimmage training.
Speaker B:And so I was moving chess pieces on defense, right?
Speaker B:Coming down a call, play four.
Speaker B:And it would mean this.
Speaker B:But on defense, I was.
Speaker B:I was like a coach on the court.
Speaker B:I was moving chess pieces.
Speaker B:And I did that for the whole of the off season.
Speaker B:We get to the first game against Hawke's Bay, we've warmed up.
Speaker B:I'm super nervous, super excited.
Speaker B:Can't wait to go out like, I'm really going to have a good season this year.
Speaker B:I was best shape I've ever been, mentally, physically, over my injury.
Speaker B:I thought I was.
Speaker B:And just before we go out to the court, in front of the whole team, the assistant coach and the coach who weren't the same coach, go, hey, you can't do this.
Speaker B:You can't move these pieces.
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker B:They were right.
Speaker B:But I had already built that habit.
Speaker B:So when I got on the court, the first thing I did was moved some pieces.
Speaker B:And you can imagine how bad that went.
Speaker B:I was yelling at one of my guys to go somewhere else.
Speaker B:He's like, dude, in his mind, he's not saying anything because he's a professional.
Speaker B:He's like, you were just told not to do this like, five minutes ago.
Speaker B:I can.
Speaker B:I know that's what he was probably thinking in hindsight because he went late and because I sent him over there late and he listened to me because he's a great teammate.
Speaker B:The guy caught the ball where he should have been.
Speaker B:Well, where I'd actually moved the defender away from where that guy caught the ball, shot a three.
Speaker B:And that was pretty much our entire team.
Speaker B:And me just sort of went, oh.
Speaker B:And my confidence was shot for like, not only that day, but for probably like weeks after.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It took me so long to get that confidence back that I'd been building up all off season, moving these pieces around.
Speaker B:Now, don't ever do that as a.
Speaker B:As a.
Speaker B:As a player on the court.
Speaker B:Just play.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I wish somebody had had said that.
Speaker B:I like it in small, small parts.
Speaker B:Like, if me and you were defending and.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And they do a move or we.
Speaker B:It makes sense for us to switch.
Speaker B:I'm going to yell really loudly, switch, switch.
Speaker B:And that's the end of the conversation.
Speaker B:But don't move them around like chess pieces.
Speaker B:Like, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do something.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So, yeah, it was a hard lesson.
Speaker B:Hard lesson to learn.
Speaker A:So if you'll love for it, I know you've done some coaching in the past, but is it something for your future?
Speaker A:Is that something you'd get back into?
Speaker A:No, not training, but more coaching a team.
Speaker B:So coaching.
Speaker B:Coaching is an interesting one, right?
Speaker B:Like, the best coaches in the world weren't the best players.
Speaker B:Because to play it is not the same as to learn to coach it, but they take about that same amount of time.
Speaker B:And while I understand logically why people want X players to coach because it makes it easier for them, because I've had that experience.
Speaker B:I don't have to coach as a parent because I have no clue.
Speaker B:I would rather less players coach and more parents start coaching at the younger levels.
Speaker B:All right, Saying that I know 50 ex players that are the most amazing coaches because they went out and learned how to coach.
Speaker B:They study the game, they're passionate about it, they use it as a.
Speaker B:As a.
Speaker B:They got the textbooks, they.
Speaker B:They got the videos.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:So that's not what I'm saying.
Speaker B:But for me, I shouldn't be a coach because I still see it as a player.
Speaker B:And so that's why I'm stepping away from that and I'm doing what I should be doing, which is staying in my lane.
Speaker B:I'll rehab your injured athletes, I'll prepare them preseason and during the season.
Speaker B:Strength and conditioning, that's what you need.
Speaker B:I'll provide those solutions or I'll do the advanced skill training for your bench players.
Speaker B:You're only as strong as your weakest link.
Speaker B:Give me player 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
Speaker B:And next year you won't know who the best five are.
Speaker B:Because nobody is passionate in those areas like I am.
Speaker B:So I'm going to stay in my lane because I know that I can't give anywhere near the same level.
Speaker B:If I was to become a coach, I'd be doing them a disservice.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:The reason I brought up basketball is just a.
Speaker A:A reason to talk about my 76ers.
Speaker A:I don't know if you saw the game against the warriors, the ending of it.
Speaker A:Don't worry about being, being up by 24 and having to get a last second point, but I did.
Speaker A:Yeah, that was amazing.
Speaker A:So since you've seen it, for you, what was more impressive?
Speaker A:The VJ Edgecombe put back or the Tyrese Maxi?
Speaker B:The Tyres maxi.
Speaker B:The Tyres maxi block.
Speaker B:Because if you think about what he had, what happened before, what happened before the before that, the play before for him.
Speaker A:So you talk about the VJ edge can put back when he missed.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:So you give me a player that demands the ball at the end of the game that what did he shoot an airball?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:With Brick Day?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Bounce off the ring.
Speaker A:Yeah, it came off, it came off the back of the.
Speaker A:The rim, I think.
Speaker B:Back of the room, nice and high.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:So you give me a player that wants the ball in crunch time, that goes to his spot.
Speaker B:Strong.
Speaker B:I'm right handed, go strong to the right.
Speaker B:Don't muck around.
Speaker B:One move, nothing fancy, misses that shot and then Is so aware of the game clock, how much time's left and his role of being the safety and getting back on defense and switches automatically from a negative happened into what's the next play.
Speaker B:And emotions were not involved.
Speaker B:And that's problematic for, for, for not off the court stuff because you need to get your emotions involved.
Speaker B:You need to understand your emotions.
Speaker B:You need to, to, to alchemize them.
Speaker B:You need to turn these, these lumps of coal into gold, into gold.
Speaker B:And on the court, there's no time for that.
Speaker B:And that was, that was the thing that stood out to me the most was how, how he got back and made the game winning play with defense after doing after what a lot of players would have hung their heads and.
Speaker A:Solved, why he's taking that team over and that city over.
Speaker A:Like, I do feel sorry for him, B.
Speaker A:Because he's been through a lot.
Speaker A:It just goes back to what we're talking about just before the pod about having hay in the barn.
Speaker A:And I don't know if he's got much left.
Speaker A:Can you just explain that sort of, that saying, the hay in the barn?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So it's.
Speaker B:This is what I talk about with everybody that I train now is hay in the barn.
Speaker B:So if you imagine your training sessions as a bale of hay, every single time you do a good quality training session, you'll produce a good quality bale of hay.
Speaker B:Then at the end of the year when you go to feed the horses, you'll have an entire hay barn full of hay and your horses will be fed and they'll be strong.
Speaker B:I had somebody reach out to me and ask me if I could do.
Speaker B:Training with them.
Speaker B:They were injured.
Speaker B:They play paddle tennis here in Bali.
Speaker B:It's a very popular sport.
Speaker B:And he had a back injury, serious back injury.
Speaker B:His doctor advised him to rest for a year.
Speaker B:So he'd been off playing his sport for a year.
Speaker B:He messaged me, he was like, yeah, I want to get back onto the court.
Speaker B:I want you to help me rehabilitate my back.
Speaker B:How do we go about doing that?
Speaker B:So I explained that process to him.
Speaker B:I see how you move.
Speaker B:So basic things, squat, lunge, push, pull.
Speaker B:You tell me where you feel those things.
Speaker B:If you feel them in your neck when you're pulling, then that's not good, that's a fail.
Speaker B:If you're doing a squat and you feel it in your lower back, it's probably not good because we don't have any weight in your hands yet.
Speaker B:Things like, of that nature.
Speaker B:My left knee is really Sore.
Speaker B:Okay, so those are going to tell us where your weaknesses are in your kinetic chain.
Speaker B:Pretty simple.
Speaker B:He read all of that and said, oh no, I was actually after one session, I just wanted one session for me to fix him.
Speaker B:After a year of not playing because of an injury to play a sport again.
Speaker B:That man has an empty barn.
Speaker B:All I would be doing by, by agreeing to do that session is setting him up for failure.
Speaker B:And it's something that we logically think as human beings is that the sports aren't damaging on our bodies.
Speaker B:There is a chance that every time you play sport, if you're not training in the gym, that you are doing more harm than good.
Speaker B:And what I'm talking about is ground reaction forces.
Speaker B:Every time you run.
Speaker B:If you weigh 100kgs, there's 400kgs going through your left ankle, your left knee and all the ligaments and tendons and your left hip and your left shoulder as shock from your weight hitting the ground.
Speaker B:If you jump, it can be 10 times.
Speaker B:So if you've got MB type ankles and he weighs 100kgs, I'm sure every time he jumps for a layup, there is an elephant on his back.
Speaker B:Every single time.
Speaker B:Warmups, training, practice, and then the 82 games, an elephant on his shoulders.
Speaker B:And that's the force and the shot going through if, if he's not at optimal.
Speaker B:Now if you were at optimal and you're training in the gym and you're just getting some general, three times a week is fine.
Speaker B:Upper body, lower body, you're probably optimal.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:If you wake up the next day and you're not sore, you could be classed as optimal.
Speaker B:What happens is you dissipate majority of that shock into your tissue and your tissue sort of like alchemizes it and, and, and you don't have any like shock or stress or damage or, or, or knots occur.
Speaker B:So you can basically run around with an elephant on your back for 82 games and go party in Vegas the next week and be fine.
Speaker B:And that's why you see a lot of these athletes not injured, is because they lift weights and the weights are them lifting with two elephants on their back because they're preparing for the stress of what the exposure is.
Speaker B:So if this person that reached out goes and plays paddle at all, he's going to go back way past square one.
Speaker B:Probably human body is super resilient.
Speaker B:I don't know enough of how he moves.
Speaker B:Maybe he moves perfectly, he might be fine, but there's a higher chance that he's gonna need surgery in the future.
Speaker B:If what I think is true and he's done nothing but rest.
Speaker A:Is that a sort of warped athlete mind thinking that he just needs one session to crack that sort of shell that he's in and get automatically click for him.
Speaker B:It's not an athlete thing, it's a, it's a non athlete thing.
Speaker B:Athletes know, athletes have, athletes know they need help.
Speaker B:If you're, if you're a competitive athlete, you need somebody, a coach.
Speaker B:Cool.
Speaker B:You might need a trainer, right?
Speaker B:You might not.
Speaker B:Your sport might not do it.
Speaker B:You might need a skills trainer, maybe you need a, you play golf, you need a swing trainer, maybe you, you know, whatever.
Speaker B:You need practice and you need training and you might need a physio, maybe not.
Speaker B:You might need a car, maybe not.
Speaker B:You might need a doctor, maybe not.
Speaker B:But they build.
Speaker B:They understand that they need those things and they understand over all of those things they need weights.
Speaker B:And weights can include body weight, weights can include yoga and weights can include Pilates.
Speaker B:It doesn't, it doesn't matter how much stress, but it depends on what's, if you're playing NBA, it has to be weights.
Speaker B:It has to be weights.
Speaker B:If you're 18, 19, 20, and you're not lifting weights, you're not going to the NBA, you're not going to NBL1.
Speaker B:It's not, it's not happening unless you're a freak athlete.
Speaker B:Because people like Allen Iverson, Kevin Durant have been known that they avoided weights in the past.
Speaker B:But if you jump as high as Allen Iverson does in his football career and in his basketball career in college, and you're his high and your head is above the rim, you know, just a little bit, and you land, that's 10 times your body weight going through your body as shock, that counts as gym work.
Speaker B:So if you're jumping a lot, you are doing gym work, right.
Speaker B:If he had done more weights, I would argue his body would have lasted longer.
Speaker B:And I would argue the same thing for Kevin Durant.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Sometimes injuries happen.
Speaker B:Like, there's, there's also the, the chaotic factor of injuries.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's just bad, bad luck.
Speaker B:And that happens a lot.
Speaker A:So what's, what sport did he play?
Speaker A:Paddle, board?
Speaker B:Paddle?
Speaker B:Yeah, it's like, is that tennis or.
Speaker B:Yeah, slight tennis and squash mixed together.
Speaker B:And what's that other sport over there?
Speaker B:Oh, massive.
Speaker B:It's big everywhere.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I would probably say it's the fastest growing sport in the world.
Speaker B:And just guessing, like from what I've seen, like everyone's Mad about it.
Speaker B:Indonesia, everyone's mad about it in New York, Miami, because it's, it's quite easy to play.
Speaker B:The bats don't let you, like, smash the ball very hard.
Speaker B:They're like, you know those movies where those people were pedaling people's butts with a big long.
Speaker B:Cricket bats.
Speaker B:It's like a cricket bat, but it's shaped like a tennis racket and it's lighter, so the ball doesn't.
Speaker A:It's not pickle ball.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:It's very.
Speaker B:It's like pickle ball squash and tennis.
Speaker B:But in tennis you can like win by like hitting it hard.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:You can't really hit it that hard.
Speaker B:I mean, you can, but not as hard as tennis because the tennis had the.
Speaker B:The stuff that makes the ball swing and stuff.
Speaker B:So it's more skill.
Speaker B:It's more like.
Speaker B:And it's less running around.
Speaker B:You, you always play two on two, so it's not as much running around, but you can like turn around and smack it off the back wall and go over the net and that's fine.
Speaker B:You can squash it behind you.
Speaker A:Yeah, okay.
Speaker A:Is it one of those sports that's in the O?
Speaker A:Do you watch the Outro on ESPN and they have all the different sports.
Speaker A:Oh, you need to get into it.
Speaker A:That's how I found corn.
Speaker A:Cornholing.
Speaker A:I found.
Speaker A:What do they have, like Border collie surfing and stuff like that?
Speaker A:Pillow fighting.
Speaker B:What's the one that cracks me up?
Speaker B:The hobby horsing.
Speaker B:Have you seen that?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:We were actually talking about that the other day, me and the wife.
Speaker A:She was like, look at this one.
Speaker B:I was like, yeah, maybe not.
Speaker A:It's good though.
Speaker A:It's a good two days, especially if you're on holiday.
Speaker A:Me and my mate watched it for the first time many, many years ago.
Speaker A:We both had the same day off for the first time in ever.
Speaker A:He was like, yeah, the OO is on.
Speaker A:We just sat down and just drank for hours.
Speaker A:Just watching.
Speaker A:Was the one that got us like the Slippery Castle climb.
Speaker A:So they had the.
Speaker A:Oh, that was so good.
Speaker B:Love that.
Speaker B:Yeah, love that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'm a big fan of wipeout stuff and so.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:So I'll give you an example.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I was a strength and conditioning coach.
Speaker B:I've only done that a couple of times, but once was like my real big break.
Speaker B:They a professional team in Vietnam.
Speaker B:I was living in Vietnam, working for a professional teams, coaching kids umbrella.
Speaker B:So we would coach all of the.
Speaker B:The expats.
Speaker B:So your Americans, your Swiss, your.
Speaker B:Your Dutch, their kids at school, little kids do that.
Speaker B:And then I was like, I'm going to pitch the pro team.
Speaker B:Because it was like sort of down below the pro team, they need a trainer.
Speaker B:I'm pretty confident I can, I can make some inroads with these guys.
Speaker B:Vietnam is a little bit behind third world country than, than some of the stuff that we learn with how we, how we would train the NBA players or at that level.
Speaker B:So I was like, I can help.
Speaker B:So I pitched them right and I said, this is how much cost.
Speaker B:This is what I want to do.
Speaker B:It fits into my schedule because they make money off both and they let me do it.
Speaker B:And so what I was doing is I was creating Google spreadsheets and testing all the players so I have the players names down and I was highlighting and ticking and putting crosses for.
Speaker B:If a player could leg press this, if a player could squat this, if a player could deadlift this, I would, I would write all that down and track it.
Speaker B:And so that, that information is what I was sending to the coach.
Speaker B:I don't think he looked at it much, but because he was more focused on the, on the team and, and he was more old school, which was fine.
Speaker B:But I was, I was doing it for, for, you know, me, because that's who I am.
Speaker B:I like to track all of that stuff and it's important.
Speaker B:I had one player that was coming back from an injury, was sort of like sheepish around the weights and he would be like, I'd be like, okay, this is what we're doing today.
Speaker B:And he'd be like, oh, and.
Speaker B:And couldn't speak very good English or couldn't speak any English.
Speaker B:So, you know, we tried.
Speaker B:And I was just trying to be polite and I was like, you know, fine, go and do.
Speaker B:So he'd go off and stretch and do his own thing while the rest of the team would put up these numbers.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker B:This went on for a couple of, couple of months.
Speaker B:And I'm saying, like, this is, this player is just not, you know, he's failed this test, failed this test, failed this test.
Speaker B:He's at risk.
Speaker B:He's.
Speaker B:He's coming to you with an injury, had an ACL repair and he's not doing the, like, there, There were multiple guys here with ACL repairs.
Speaker B:Couple of them were doing what I was asking them to do, and we're getting good results with.
Speaker B:He wasn't.
Speaker B:And so coach asked me like, hey, what, you know, he, he noticed that because everyone else is all like highlighted yellow and, and, and 80kgs 90kgs and he's like X x X across all of the exercises.
Speaker B:And the coach was like, what's he doing?
Speaker B:Is he not, not listening to you?
Speaker B:And I'm like, no, I think he's like more injured than he's given on.
Speaker B:And I, and I don't think he should, he should play him.
Speaker B:And he's like, I've got to play him.
Speaker B:We, we paid him, we paid him a lot.
Speaker B:He was a, the previous year he was a, a like a, he run an award.
Speaker B:Maybe it was like six man of the year or that.
Speaker B:And that's why they got him because he won that award.
Speaker B:He did really well for his other team.
Speaker B:But at the end of the season he had surgery and he was trying to come back and I was like, if you're asking me, I wouldn't plan because he can't absorb the shock of a layout.
Speaker B:It's just going to cause.
Speaker B:Cause some issues.
Speaker B:And the next game is like, yeah, I've got a plan.
Speaker B:So he, and he didn't listen to me, which is his prerogative.
Speaker B:You know, I work for them.
Speaker B:I'm a servant.
Speaker B:So I understood that was no, no issue.
Speaker B:So the next game he gets the ball under the hoop and he goes to jump and do a layup and he gets off the ground about that much and he misses the layup and it was wide open and the coach looks at me and I went like, what you do in the gym will show on the core.
Speaker B:Like, there's no way you can not do this and then expect to perform.
Speaker B:And if you're failing these, you are going to fail this.
Speaker B:And that was a massive lesson that, that, that I learned is to track everything everybody's doing.
Speaker B:I've still got those I can, I can show you.
Speaker B:But also like it's okay to share information, stand up and, and just say to firm and say I, I don't think he's ready to, to play.
Speaker B:I think we might end up hurting him more.
Speaker B:And after that we, we shut him down and we got him some help with the physios and, and after that year he had a, I think he had a pretty good, pretty good couple of years at it was getting on and on in life, but years.
Speaker B:And there were players there that started the year injured, that put in the work and then ended up taking us all the way to the semifinals where we lost on a buzzer beater three by their worst shooter.
Speaker B:So yeah, it was, it's always fun.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I mean, I think that's like, the beauty of it, right, is we get to learn that lesson.
Speaker B:Either we win or.
Speaker B:And tell a cool story, or we get a beautiful lesson.
Speaker B:And I think I was talking to a coach yesterday.
Speaker B:We do another podcast for our basketball on Infinity Fit Basketball.
Speaker B:And he said.
Speaker B:When I coach kids, I lose one game on purpose.
Speaker B:And me and the other.
Speaker B:My friend Jesse, who.
Speaker B:Who is the guy based in Perth from Plavers, who's running the basketball camp that I'm doing in Perth next year, January.
Speaker B:Me and him sort of looked at each other, stopped for a minute, and then he carried on with what he was saying.
Speaker B:And then the podcast ended.
Speaker B:And I was like, sorry, Coach, I need to ask you.
Speaker B:Did you say you lose a game on purpose?
Speaker B:What do you mean?
Speaker B:And Jesse was like, yeah.
Speaker B:What.
Speaker B:What the hell are you talking about?
Speaker B:Like, you can't.
Speaker B:You can't lose.
Speaker B:And he was like, yeah, I. I'm like, who do you tell?
Speaker B:Like, you know, because what if people beat on it?
Speaker B:You know?
Speaker B:It's like.
Speaker B:And he was like, no, no, no, I don't tell anybody.
Speaker B:I just try and manufacture a loss to keep my kids humble.
Speaker B:And I was like, wow, that's.
Speaker B:That's wild.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I don't know, my.
Speaker B:Even my perspective on that.
Speaker B:I could see both sides.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Like, what do you think about that?
Speaker A:Well, it's like when we watch me and the wife watch Survivor, and then the.
Speaker A:The tribe says they're gonna throw the.
Speaker A:The challenge.
Speaker A:You're like, it never ends well.
Speaker A:It just never ends well.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:So what does he mean by losing?
Speaker A:How does he.
Speaker A:Does he have a different game plan or how does he lose on purpose?
Speaker A:He's not playing.
Speaker B:He.
Speaker B:He.
Speaker B:I asked him how he does it, and he just plays his bench too much and he plays, like, rotations where he doesn't have his best ball handler, and.
Speaker B:Or he, like, if his.
Speaker B:You know, so he subs tactically to lose a close game.
Speaker A:At what ages are we talking one?
Speaker A:What age?
Speaker B:High school.
Speaker B:High school kids.
Speaker A:High school kids.
Speaker A:Understand?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, yes.
Speaker B:Shivers.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:They're going to look and go, these people are playing and we're losing.
Speaker A:And the people that.
Speaker A:The kids that are playing are gonna know we're losing because, like, he's put me in.
Speaker A:I. I don't know if it's.
Speaker A:I don't know if it helped.
Speaker B:Yeah, he actually didn't have that issue because all of the kids were too big for their boots, in his words.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So I get what he's doing right Right, right.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:He's trying to rein them back in.
Speaker B:So, so, so I get what they're doing.
Speaker B:It was just.
Speaker B:It was just a wild thing to.
Speaker B:To hear somebody say, hear a coach and not tell.
Speaker B:Parents, not tell.
Speaker B:But I guess you.
Speaker B:If you're going to do that, you shouldn't tell anyone.
Speaker B:He probably shouldn't have said it on the podcast.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, so he doesn't.
Speaker B:He doesn't work for that school anymore, so I guess it's fine.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But you'd have to be careful, though.
Speaker A:You have to be careful.
Speaker A:Some of those bench players might ball out and.
Speaker B:And then you get the email.
Speaker B:I think he.
Speaker B:I think he'll try and do it the next game, you know, and maybe get it done.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's not for me, but Jimmy Butler, when he.
Speaker A:When he.
Speaker A:In practice, he played and just.
Speaker A:Just absolutely destroyed everybody.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Still better that the Sixers let him go and kept Simmons, but we'll move on.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's my fault.
Speaker B:I was.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:That's some karmic issues that I have to pay for.
Speaker B:The universe.
Speaker B:I was a big.
Speaker B:Ben Simmons fed.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Massive.
Speaker B:Massive.
Speaker B:Apart from the fact that he shoots with the wrong hand.
Speaker B:So that's a.
Speaker B:That's the one NBA hill that I will die on.
Speaker B:Ben Simmons should shoot with his other hand.
Speaker A:But people were trying to tell him that and he just didn't want to listen.
Speaker B:I think that comes to, like, the next part of, like, what I was going to say with my partner is if you ever try and give somebody help, you're probably doing it wrong.
Speaker B:And why I say that is because you've got two parts of you.
Speaker B:If I say to you.
Speaker B:Don'T drink alcohol, does that make you want to drink it more or less?
Speaker A:Well, it doesn't make me want to drink it less.
Speaker A:I don't drink it at all.
Speaker A:Just to get a straight.
Speaker A:I don't drink alcohol much anyway.
Speaker B:But just using as an example, does that make sense that the way that we logically think we are helping, we are hurting.
Speaker B:So what we have to do is go, hey, Rocky, if you.
Speaker B:Let's say you are raging alcoholic and.
Speaker B:And you know, you know, a whole bottle of tequila a day type serious like that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:If I'd set you down, I have to ask you, as in a question.
Speaker B:So let's say if you.
Speaker B:If you were to drink, what are the benefits?
Speaker B:And you tell me a couple of things.
Speaker B:I try and keep those.
Speaker B:I don't really want to reinforce the habit, but I try and keep those small.
Speaker B:I Say, okay, give me the benefits of stopping drinking and let's just role play this.
Speaker B:So give me, give me like five or so.
Speaker B:What things could you do with your family and your partner and all of those things if you weren't drunk from 10 o' clock in the morning?
Speaker B:Let's just, we'll just.
Speaker B:To the ridiculous.
Speaker A:You'd probably be more active being able to do stuff with them, spend more time with them, be more coherent.
Speaker B:How would that make, how would that make you feel?
Speaker A:Yeah, probably.
Speaker A:Obviously better than what you're.
Speaker A:Well, depends what you're drinking for.
Speaker A:Most people drink most people that are.
Speaker B:Like that because let's just imagine that it's you.
Speaker B:Let's just imagine that otherwise it will role play, otherwise it'll go on forever.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So family's obviously more time with them.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:And how would you feel about spending more time with them?
Speaker B:So I would always follow up.
Speaker B:Tell me about how you would feel.
Speaker B:What would that look like?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What were the things that you could do to him?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Oh, you could go out more.
Speaker B:So what are the things that you guys like to do when you go out?
Speaker B:Just give me one.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker A:Well, we go to the movies.
Speaker A:That's how.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker A:Awesome.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:So you get to see more movies.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Because I've spoiled her too much.
Speaker A:And now she will only go to gold class.
Speaker B:But same.
Speaker A:Oh, well, that's why we only go every now and then.
Speaker A:Like there's plenty of movies out there.
Speaker A:But I'm not, I'm only.
Speaker A:We're only going to the big ones.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:Okay, cool.
Speaker B:And then, and then, so I would.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:And then give me another, another thing that, like a benefit.
Speaker B:So you got more time with your wife.
Speaker A:So you got to be able to communicate better.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:And what, what does that unlock for you?
Speaker B:Give me, give me a positive communication.
Speaker A:With my wife or anyone's partner.
Speaker A:Like I was saying before, helps you understand them and how they're feeling.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:It gives me more balance when.
Speaker A:Because we barely argue, but we also tolerate a lot more of each other.
Speaker A:And I guess it comes down to understanding what triggers each other.
Speaker A:I guess if you're always drunk and yeah, that wouldn't matter and the communication would be lacking.
Speaker A:So you wouldn't have that sort of.
Speaker A:We wouldn't have that sort of understanding of each other.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So so far we've covered that you'd be able to spend more time with her at the Gold coast, enjoying the things that you guys are both passionate about.
Speaker B:You told me that you would, you know, continue to level up your relationship with love and respect.
Speaker B:Be more in tune with each other.
Speaker B:Get more value out of that.
Speaker B:Give me one more.
Speaker B:Maybe not about your wife.
Speaker B:What about something else that you could do that if you were drinking a bottle of vodka.
Speaker A:So I'd.
Speaker A:You'd be more energetic and being more active with yourself.
Speaker B:What could you do with that?
Speaker B:Give me some train.
Speaker A:I'd like spend more time with the dog outside playing nice.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And how would all of that make you feel if that was your day to day?
Speaker A:Tired?
Speaker A:Nah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:No, it would obviously make me feel more fulfilled, I guess.
Speaker B:And is that important too?
Speaker A:Yeah, it is.
Speaker A:Yeah, it is.
Speaker A:You have.
Speaker A:I have some days where I'm just can't be bothered doing anything but at the end of those days I don't feel as good as the days that I've pushed myself to be more active, to be more present with my wife, to have those conversations with her and do stuff with her and be active with the dog and then go see the kids and go see the granddaughter.
Speaker A:The end of those days while I'm more tired, I do feel a lot more.
Speaker A:Yeah, I do feel a lot more fulfilled.
Speaker B:More joy.
Speaker A:More joy.
Speaker B:More true love.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So if you, you're saying that if you stopped drinking the bowl of vodka every day.
Speaker A:Let's just say.
Speaker A:Let's just also say that I do not drink a bowl of.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Total role play.
Speaker B:But I'm just trying to explain how the help could, could how I would go about helping someone.
Speaker B:So you've mentioned that you're going to have an amazing, more in depth relationship with your wife.
Speaker B:You guys get to go see the next Avengers movie, wherever the hell that's coming out.
Speaker B:Do it on the gold gold class.
Speaker A:You get to 20, 26.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Let's go.
Speaker B:You get to.
Speaker B:You get to.
Speaker B:You spend more time with your dog.
Speaker B:You get to.
Speaker B:To have more fresh air.
Speaker B:You're out in the sunshine getting that vitamin D. You're spending more time with your grandkids.
Speaker B:What's your grandkids names?
Speaker B:Gr.
Speaker B:Evie.
Speaker B:Chris one.
Speaker B:Amazing.
Speaker B:And how old is Evie?
Speaker A:She's just turned one a few months ago.
Speaker B:Amazing.
Speaker B:And so you're getting to do all of these things and feel more fulfilled and more joy and more true love.
Speaker B:This is the last question.
Speaker B:How important is it to you to feel all those things out of 10 with one being couldn't care less.
Speaker B:10 being.
Speaker B:That's what I want.
Speaker A:10.
Speaker A:That is what I want.
Speaker A:Everything else not too fuss with.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like family, family, home life.
Speaker A:Nothing else matters outside of that?
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Do you know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like, if that's not working, nothing else sort of really matters.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:So I'd be focused on getting that right.
Speaker A:So It's a definite 10.
Speaker B:Okay, here's the final question.
Speaker B:Sorry, that was a two parter.
Speaker B:How come?
Speaker B:I'm sort of trying to get at the why and I would like it as long as possible.
Speaker B:This question's weird.
Speaker B:How come you didn't say one out of ten important?
Speaker A:Because it.
Speaker A:Because it is important to me.
Speaker A:I guess one never crossed my mind.
Speaker A:And it was always going to be 10, I think.
Speaker B:Give me the specifics on that thing that really.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:So the reason I chose 10 is because I love them and I want the best for them and I want to be around them and see them, see them prosper.
Speaker A:My wife, the dog, you know, our kids, a granddaughter.
Speaker A:That is the most important thing to me.
Speaker A:Because without them, like who, you know, what is the point of all this?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:So that is the whole process that I took you for, for how I would help you versus stop drinking.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I actually forgot how we got onto there, but now I remember Ben Simmons.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah, I, I've.
Speaker B:To be fair, I told everybody Luca would be as great as he is, but it still doesn't make up for how much I talk good about Ben Simmons when he was a rookie.
Speaker B:So sorry.
Speaker B:The universe.
Speaker A:I thought he was.
Speaker A:I thought he was going to be the greatest thing.
Speaker B:He might come back and, And I'll.
Speaker B:And, And I'll change my mind, I'm hoping, because those are the only two players that I've ever.
Speaker B:Oh, and Stephen Adams.
Speaker B:Man.
Speaker B:If you know.
Speaker B:If you know how to play basketball, let's to the world.
Speaker B:If you know how to play basketball and you understand it and you watch a human being play, they're going to do good in the NBA, whether or not they're American or not.
Speaker B:Like that.
Speaker B:We don't.
Speaker B:We don't need to be.
Speaker B:Have an American passport to dominate.
Speaker B:Like dominate.
Speaker B:You see that thing block somebody today and then keeping the ring, gambling the board in the other Engine 180 dunk.
Speaker B:Like it was like.
Speaker B:Like best offensive rebounder of all time.
Speaker B:Makes Dennis Robin look like.
Speaker B:Like, what are we talking about here?
Speaker B:And that's just some random guy from Rotorua, right?
Speaker A:Well, even, even KD was saying @ the beginning of the season that how underrated Stephen Adams is and how he couldn't believe that they retained him and not everyone was after him.
Speaker A:Because of what he does on the court.
Speaker A:His stats might not show it all the time, but it makes it easier for everyone else to.
Speaker B:Play.
Speaker B:People talk about like the genetic jackpot with him, but if you know how hard he's worked and his attitude, like you would have seen it before, the, I don't know what they call it, the Adidas ABCD camp.
Speaker B:Like when he was in the, he was in the New Zealand NBL as a rookie for the Saints.
Speaker B:Like he was like the potential was there.
Speaker B:And this is probably my only gripe is that people can't see.
Speaker B:I think apart from Ben Simmons, I'm a pretty good visual of.
Speaker A:Potential.
Speaker A:The only great with Stephen.
Speaker A:Well, can you imagine a tall Blacks team with him in it?
Speaker A:The way that the tall blacks have been playing the last.
Speaker B:Week?
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean it's sort of like it is what it is, you know, like it means that players like Sam and Inga can have a, have a, have a really like grow into his thing.
Speaker B:I mean I just, I just love like, like our guards and our small forwards these days are just unbelievable.
Speaker B:You know that positionless basketball is.
Speaker B:Well now there's three positions, right.
Speaker B:You've got your connector who's sort of like your Dylan Boucher defense in passing and finishing every now and then.
Speaker B:And you've got, you know, your guys like your Taylor Britt when he's healthy and you're.
Speaker B:Cameron when, when you know he's got the ball in his hands and you know that they're like destroyers.
Speaker B:Like the game is like, it's like they're just playing by themselves.
Speaker B:There's no one, there's no defense.
Speaker B:And I think that's a good thing with skills is if you've got skill, it outranks your genetics.
Speaker B:And some of those guys have skill out there.
Speaker B:Out there like amazing.
Speaker B:And the breakers have been playing great New Zealand.
Speaker A:Basketball.
Speaker A:New Zealand breakers been playing great for the Ignite.
Speaker B:Cup.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Which is money based.
Speaker A:Tells you a.
Speaker B:Bit.
Speaker B:Professional basketball, man.
Speaker B:I don't know if, I don't know if I need to tell you this, Rocky, but the world is after money.
Speaker B:That's what most people, most people.
Speaker A:Do.
Speaker A:Well that's, that's what it, that's what it rotates on.
Speaker A:People would say that they don't need money.
Speaker A:It makes things a little bit.
Speaker B:Easier.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think, you know, we gotta be careful of is just energy.
Speaker B:So if you're, if you're putting out positive energy, it'll come to you.
Speaker B:And if you're.
Speaker B:If you're not it probably won't.
Speaker B:I think a lot of the.
Speaker B:Yeah, no, that's.
Speaker A:Not.
Speaker A:I was about to say again.
Speaker A:We could talk forever.
Speaker A:We could talk forever.
Speaker A:Let's wrap this episode up.
Speaker A:Anything you want to promote or set out into the universe so they can have a piece of.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So I'm on all socials.
Speaker B:Infinity Fit Coach.
Speaker B:It's where I'm doing this stuff with the awakening your mind.
Speaker B:So I'm doing mindset training.
Speaker B:So where I'm doing one on one coaching.
Speaker B:I do that online.
Speaker B:So video call.
Speaker B:You can do that from anywhere you want in the world.
Speaker B:At Infinity Fit Coach.
Speaker B:I'm also a basketball skills coach.
Speaker B:That's my passion.
Speaker B:That's where I want to go eventually with the I'm possible brand.
Speaker B:I'll be in Perth January 19.
Speaker B:I'm running a week long camp for all ages.
Speaker B:You can follow me on that.
Speaker B:At Infinity Affinity Fit.
Speaker A:Basketball.
Speaker A:Is that the same time as hoopfest over.
Speaker B:There?
Speaker B:Not.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker A:Because you know AI is going to be.
Speaker B:There.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Just saying.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Not sure that's right.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:Thank you again for hopping on.
Speaker B:Brother.
Speaker B:Always man, honor and a privilege.
Speaker B:Thank.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:And to the listeners, thank you.
Speaker A:Look after yourself, look after your people.
